Tuesday, September 06, 2005

"I'm fixing a hole where the junkies came in..."

Allow me to go all asshole-personified for a moment; I have just heard that city officials in Vancouver are prepared to implement a new program aimed to aid and assist the city’s ever-increasing growing number of addicts, crippled and blinded by their drug use and too sick to shoot themselves up, to be helped by a volunteer team of users to get high safely.


So, if you’re too fucked up by your own illegal addiction then you’ll be provided with your own personal drug valet to cook up your fixes for you? Getting druggies to shoot up other worse off druggies. How in the fuck does that make any sense? Isn’t that a bit like putting out fire with gasoline?

Forty members of the Vancouver Area Network of Drug Users (VANDU) will be patrolling the Downtown Eastside, a slum and open market that teems with disease, offering injection education and assistance. Hey, isn’t that swell? So, first we provided homeless addicts with Interact swipe machines* in order to collect money while panhandling on street corners from our debit cards and credit cards and now we’re helping them inject their drugs too? Wow, how great it must be to be a down and out junkie on the streets of Vancouver! Let's build them a luxury resort with tennis courts and a pool! Shit, I may even just retire there.

But where does it all end? Are we next going to start providing them with all their drugs as well, or how about just getting high for them while we’re fucking at it? Why not after all, since we’re already going through all the trouble of making sure they have no problem acquiring and doing their drugs? Let’s at least be thorough.


I just don’t understand it. So now, instead of feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless, and providing for the unemployed, among other serious and worthy charitable foundations, my hard-earned tax-payers dollars have also now been ear-marked for assisting lazy addicts get their fixes? Fuck that! If they want to be high so bad, they should be least able to get themselves that way without assistance from anybody – much less from an official city-sanctioned deputized junkie. If these morons brains are too fried out to know that they need to stop doing their destructive habits lest they should end with the same life functions as a carrot – LET THEM!

Shit, I say hand out more fucking dope and rusty needles! They’re only just going to be eventually weeded out as part of the natural selection process anyways. Why prolong the inevitable? The only “injection education and assistance” I’d like to offer would be a blunt object to the back of the head to put them out of their misery. Besides, what more “injection education and assistance” do you need beyond shouting: “STOP DOING FUCKING DRUGS YOU SMELLY, LICE-RIDDEN WASTE-OF-LIFE”! I’m sure as shit not going to start heating up their spoons for them and assist them in the further fucking up of their lives!

Supporters claim that most of the stats show that people who are incapable of injecting themselves or have a hard time have the highest rate of HIV. Well, yeah, DUH! That’s because they’re helpless useless junkies who have all but killed off their very souls for smack, crack, crank, whatever, eons ago. Why are we still making it so easy and cushy for them to be a drug addict? How is that helping lower the number of strung out addicts populating Vancouver any? We should be offering them either rehab, hard time, or have a train run on them in a back alley behind some Eastside crackhouse by a group of other desperate and crazed street junkies. That’s bound to set them straight on "injection education and assistance".

* Yep! We did, in yet another unpresidented hallmark of human stupidity.


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