Sunday, August 21, 2005

Kittens, and Knives, and Roadside Surgery, OH MY!

I have found the feel good story of the century, despite its being a little on the morose side. Nothing quite says heartwarming like “kittens rescued from the womb of their dead mother”. I'm getting all warm and fuzzy just typing it. However, nothing quite sounds so disturbing at the same time either.

Let me paint you the bigger picture:

Two teenaged girls were out for a leisurely stroll in northern New Brunswick recently, when what should they happen to come across, but a dead cat lying by the side of the road. Recognizing the ex-feline and remembering that it had been pregnant, they checked the body.

I don’t know about you, but when I happen upon a dead cat (or any other animal for that matter) by the side of the road, I highly doubt that I would ever be drawn to inspect it’s body close enough to determine it’s body temperature – even if I did recognize the beast in question! There may have been a time in my past when I may have been tempted to poke at the dead body with a stick, but as a wizened adult, I think I'd be more prone to just avoid the rotting carcass altogether.

Now here’s where this story takes a strange twist towards the macabre. Feeling that the poor dead cats body was still warm, the girls fetched a knife from a nearby neighbors house and performed a caesarian section on the kitty corpse, pulling out two live kittens (the other two were dead), cuttin’ the cords, wipin’ off their cute little kitty button noses, and sparing them one of their precious nine lives.

Awwwwww. Isn’t that the “feel good” story of the century? It has all the necessary components of a classic heartwarming tale of triumph in the face of heart-wrenching tragedy: two teenage surgeons, two kittens rescued from the brink of death from the womb of their mothers corpse, and impromptu, roadside surgeries. However, as happy a story as this is, I still find it to be a bit on the unnerving side.

What spurned these girls to open up the dead cat in the first place? Who does that? "Hey, there's a dead animal - I'd better open'er up to see if there is anything living inside!" Maybe Doogie Hauser, M.D. might or something, but two teenaged girls? Something is just not quite right here. Something is indeed rotten in the province of New Brunswick - and I'm not talking about the cat. Where did these girls learn how to conduct a caesarian section on a cat in the first place exactly? To the best of my knowledge, this kind of intimate knowledge is just not taught in high school biology class. I think these girls may have had more prior experience at opening up cats than maybe they’re letting on. And that’s the twisted part.

How did it occur to these girls to open up the dead cat to save the kittens unless they were just looking for something to slice into already and they just happened along some live kittens in the process? I find that creepy. I'm sure glad these girls don't live in my neighborhood. Not for all the rescued kittens in the world would I want them living nextdoor to me.

Something else I find disturbing about this story is how easily these girls were able to acquire a knife from a nearby neighbor without so much as any reluctance or inquiry. I guess it’s commonplace for strange girls to drop by and ask for cutting knives in New Brunswick. I would think that if two teenaged girls came to my home looking for a kitchen knife with which to gut a dead cat that they had found by the set of the road, I would be a bit more hesitant to loan one out. I certainly wouldn’t just hand over my prized sous-knife without first asking some exploratory questions.

To round out this schmultzfest of a post, I'll finish by letting it be known that one of these two rescued kittens died afterwards, but the final of the litter continues to be alive and well and is now the pet of one of the 15-year-old surgeons. Lucky cat! Although if I were this particular cat, I'd have one eye over my shyoulder at all times lest Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde should ever feel the need to play veternarian surgeon once again.

8 Comments:

Blogger R. Marie said...

Just browsing blogs and came across yours. Didn't get a chance to read it all, but I do enjoy your sense of humor and will be stopping by again. Thanks for the laughs.

10:12 AM  
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10:51 AM  
Blogger crazytigerrabbitman said...

Is today fucking 'Spam Sunday' or something? Thank you for the kind comments r.marie, you are most welcome back anytime as long as you do not fear loosing your sanity. You other two posters however, go read this: http://tofuplanktonmeatloaf.blogspot.com/2005/08/fucked-on-fuck.html#comments

11:01 AM  
Blogger crazytigerrabbitman said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:04 AM  
Blogger fl13grl said...

Lovely blog! I really enjoy your writing! :) Best wishes! ...t

3:21 PM  
Blogger K. Restoule said...

MMM, I admit that it was odd, but there might have been some facts that we didn't know about, like the dead cat belonged to someone they knew so they knew to look.

My problem is that I ask too many questions.

5:52 PM  
Blogger Superhappyjen said...

Don't you hate when you get all geared up to read your juicy comments only to find nothing but SPAM, SPAM, SPAM? GAH!

We city kids wouldn't know how to gut a cat, but the education system is a bit different for maritimers. Performing a ceasarian section on a cat can't be that different from cleaning and gutting a fish, can it?

2:52 PM  

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