Saturday, April 02, 2005

Who's Feeding Terri Schiavo?

Terri Schiavo, the 41-year-old brain-damaged woman at the center of a national legal, political, and ethical battle, also died earlier this week, nearly two weeks after doctors removed her feeding tube.

On behalf of the moral majority of the socially conscious members of the planet – thank fucking God it's over and this poor woman can finally lay at peace. If I hear one more person mention the words “feeding tube” – I’m going to have to resort to more drastic measures and puncture my ear drums with a sharp pencil.

It’s been everywhere for the better part of a month – Terri Schiavo this; feeding tube that. How did something so morose become so fad?

Sure misery loves company and the public has a morbid sense of fascination, but do we really all need to be bombarded with the whole intricate working procedures of a medical feeding device? It’s about as mentally stimulating as watching a possum bake on a hot highway tarmac.

It’s feeding tube mania!

I’m sure all the popular fashion magazines will be featuring celebrity photo spreads of them sporting their new chic designer feeding tubes. Imagine Sandra Bullock lying on a beach in Waikiki with her current mysterious beau, and decked out in her fashionable new slinky two-piece Maryan Mehlhorn bathing suit and matching Armani feeding tube sticking out her side. How sexy!

Even beyond the whole feeding tube craze, Terri Schiavo’s existence was anything but peaceful or remotely normal. It’s only now that she has finally passed that I am able to digest all that has happened.

Schiavo collapsed in 1990 from a cardiac arrest and suffered brain damage because of lack of oxygen. It is a contested argument that this collapse may have been triggered by a history of bulimia – a fact that the family refuses to accept. Since then she has existed in a “non-responsive vegetative state” and couldn’t beat a box rocks at a game of checkers.

Likewise, she has been at the epicenter of a decade long legal tug-of-war between her husband and guardian, Michael, and her parents, Bob and Mary Schindler. Michael Schiavo maintains his wife would not want to be kept alive in her condition, while her parents claim she could improve with intense therapy. And all the while, before the video cameras, there’s Terri – lifelessly frozen in her “lucid state” like a chipmunk begging for an acorn.

Her parents have also been conducting a coast-to-coast media plea for anybody with two cents to add, from the Christian activist Rev. Patrick Mahoney to Bo Grit, the notorious defending dipshit of citizen’s rights and ex-thorn-in-the-side-of-the-CIA*.

Whatever it was that her final wishes were; it was not to be paraded in front of the public eye like a burnt out Muppet. I’m sure didn’t wish to be the hot topic of debate for everyone from that douchebag Larry King to Jay Leno. It’d be the equivalent to having your mother bring out the naked photos of you potty-training on your “Sweet Sixteen” party – totally inappropriate.

However, it seems that this tidbit of common sense seems to have escaped everyone; particularly those that are supposed to care for her final wishes. But perhaps that’s the whole rub right there – we don’t know what her final wishes really were. I do think it’s a pretty safe however that she never intended to be flaunted in the media headlines as a prop in an ongoing rivalry.

To add further insult to injury; Michael Schiavo has requested that an autopsy be performed on the deceased Terri so that they can issue a full report on the extent of her brain damage prior to her death.

Pardon?

So, for someone who is adamantly maintaining that her final wishes were to be left to die if ever she should fall into such a state, and yet he’s willing to crack open her skull like a ripe melon in order o analyze the cobwebs inside. How’s that allowing her to die with dignity?

On top of it all, Terri is not yet at peace even in death, since her body is again to be the focal point of another legal battle. Michael Schiavo plans on taking her cremated remains back to Pennsylvania, where she grew up, but her parents want to bury her in Florida so her parents and siblings can visit her grave.

Oh, for fuck sakes! Why not just cut the poor woman’s corpse in half and divide it among the parties to do with as they see fit. This is getting ridiculous. At this point, it’s less about the concern and respect for Terri’s wishes, than it is about two feuding parties with axes to grind.

What really pisses me off though; is that Terri’s family has now released a statement requesting that the public respect the family wishes to leave them alone to mourn in peace? WTF?

You mean, after they’ve repeatedly dragged their daughter’s lifeless image through a three-ring circus of media hoopla during the final days of her life, that they suddenly want privacy? Do they really think that the beast that they’ve invited into their lives and whipped up into a feeding frenzy is just going to slink away quietly and willingly?

“Thanks for all your help and support; but it’s over now. Ta-ta!”

Not bloody fucking likely!

The media are like sharks that have smelled blood; they are not going to subside until they’ve had their fill – or at least until Michael “Freakshow” Jackson does something stupid in court again.

* Whom is it worthy to note, was arrested trying to break a police line out front of Terri Schiavo’s hospital to arrest Michael Schiavo for violating citizen rights, and to ultimately feed Terri some bread and water. Yeah, great idea there, Rambo! What were you going to do exactly with her in a vegetative state – stuff the food down her throat? Jackass.

1 Comments:

Blogger MPH said...

I noticed that you threw a mention of Muppets in there. For shame, Muppets represent all that is good with this word. To invoke them when talking about Schiavo (unless you're saying she'd make a good muppet in her state) is just wrong.

9:51 PM  

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