Monday, July 11, 2005

Not Another Hurricane Report?

Does anybody really give two shits about Hurricane Dennis?

I know I, for one, after last summers marathon of hurricane crisis broadcasts that I’m still %100 completely freakin’ hurricaned out. I don't get excited anymore unless there is at least a killer tidal wave, an earthquake rating eight or more on the Richter Scale, or a Class Five tornado; everything else is just an overcast day.

I don’t think anybody besides maybe CNN’s Anderson Cooper really cares anymore. For Anderson however, its just like Christmas morning as he broadcasts from the heart of the storm and pointing out the destruction first hand as he broadcasts from the heart of the storm with bits of flying debris rocketing past like exploded shrapnel. Hell, even if he isn’t broadcasting for our benefit I’d still expect to find him out there in his rain slicker furiously spanking his monkey in the driving wind and rain. Some people like to get their kicks by rock climbing, bungee jumping or skydiving; Anderson likes to stand in Category Five tropical storms with a puffy microphone.

I mean, we’re all pretty sick of hearing about high 192 km/ph winds, rising flood levels, and updated-to-the-minute radar tracking; as far as I can tell, the whole State of Florida is one complete disaster area of Aegean stable proportions anyways. After last years Hurricane Ivan, not to mention Charley, or Frances, or Jeanne, or whatever any of the other fucking gusts of wind that happened to blow inland was named; what do I care if it gets hit again?

As I understand it, the State of Florida and the other bordering states that run along the Gulf of Mexico coastline can expect to be hit by 5-6 hurricanes EVERY year. It’s a fucking regular occurrence! Maybe I’m just fucked here for thinking this, but why do we still seem so shocked and surprised with each new potential Hurricane crisis? Clearly, the DNA cocktail of these people living here are more than a little, shall we say, diluted.

If I were a Florida resident living in the global stomping grounds of tropical storms, I would have rolled out my trailer home and hauled ass to the other side of the country instead of just waiting to the have the next hurricane simply stop by and knock on the front door - before shredding it to pieces, yet AGAIN!

As far as I’m concerned, anybody stupid enough to taunt Mother Nature by returning to a single story flimsy beach house year after year in the middle of hurricane season deserves having the odd billboard sign being relocated into their living room via the front window. They must be some kind of extreme thrill-seekers to be continually willing to put their personal safety, as well as all their worldly possessions, in the direct path of a powerful hurricane.

I can’t really sympathize with the demise of thrill-seekers since it’s basically their own god damned fault since they purposely put themselves in harms way in the first place! Sure, it’s still a tragedy as it would be if any bungee jumper plummeted to their death and bounces off a dry river bed, but am I shocked or sympathetic? OF COURSE FUCKING NOT! The idiot leaped off a bridge with an elastic band attached to his ankle!

I’d say the risk was properly identified well before hand! So how does choosing to live in a high-risk hurricane region fare any fucking different?

MOVE – you masochistic dip shits!

You’re interrupting my regularly scheduled programs for this bullshit - there ARE bombs going off around the world in train stations you know.


Blogger Sandi said...

Speaking as a person living in hurricane pron areas, just let me say, that the coverage of the season is STUPID!! Yes we know that any year we may be blown away by a big storm, but hell, down here that is called home improvement.
The area I live in has not had a direct hit in 25 years, so as stats go we are due. In fact most of the people who live here are looking forward to a class 2 or 3 storm, just to wash all the shit out of the bay.

The coverage of the hurricane season is just one more way the media is buying into the Shrub administrations misdirection. "Oh, look a hurricane. It's going to kill hundreds right here at home. Don't worry about what's going on over seas."
What a crock.

I digress, I agree with you in one respect, if you live in a natural disaster prone area, then when you get hit you have no reason to go on tv and bitch about it.

6:40 AM  

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