There Is a Headache
I was listening to the radio on the drive home from work today when on the radio I happening to hear Donovan’s ‘There Is A Mountain’. And it struck me; what the fuck is this guy trying to say exactly? Furthermore, how did such a swan song of complete insanity, albeit catchy and quirky, ever catapult this guys career into Superstardom? I don’t get it.
Let’s analyze the evidence, shall we?
“The lock upon my garden gate's a snail, that's what it is.”
This would trip Lewis Carroll the fuck out! So, to get anywhere in this guys yard you first have to maneuver through the garden gate that has yicky, slimy snail spuzz all over the latch handle? I don’t know about you; but I don’t need to attend any backyard garden BBQ bad enough to ever try and get past something like that!
“First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.”
So is there a mountain or isn't there a mountain? I'm confused. Put the fucking bong down Donovan, and make up your fucking mind already! Can you imagine getting driving directions from someone like this? “Well, first go drive down here until you see the mountain…no, wait. There’s no mountain…wait, of course there is! No, maybe not. Oh, yeah there is a mountain…NO WAIT!” I would have rolled up my window and backed my car up over his ass a few times with impatient frustration by the time he got this far in the directional assistance.
“The caterpillar sheds his skin to find a butterfly within.
Caterpillar sheds his skin to find a butterfly within.”
Did he just stutter or something? Thanks, David Suzuki. I got it the first time.
“First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain.”
Again with this “mountain” bullshit!
“Oh Wanita, oh Wanita, oh Wanita, I call your name.
Oh, the snow will be a blinding sight to see as it lies on yonder hillside.”
WANITA?! He’s singing to somebody named WANITA? Is this his love interest or is he just trying to summon his housekeeper or something? One thing I can say for sure is that anyone named Wanita sure isn’t going to be seeing blinding snow on her side the mountain anytime soon! Maybe torrential downpour or oppressive heat; but snow, NEVER!
Let’s analyze the evidence, shall we?
“The lock upon my garden gate's a snail, that's what it is.”
This would trip Lewis Carroll the fuck out! So, to get anywhere in this guys yard you first have to maneuver through the garden gate that has yicky, slimy snail spuzz all over the latch handle? I don’t know about you; but I don’t need to attend any backyard garden BBQ bad enough to ever try and get past something like that!
“First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.”
So is there a mountain or isn't there a mountain? I'm confused. Put the fucking bong down Donovan, and make up your fucking mind already! Can you imagine getting driving directions from someone like this? “Well, first go drive down here until you see the mountain…no, wait. There’s no mountain…wait, of course there is! No, maybe not. Oh, yeah there is a mountain…NO WAIT!” I would have rolled up my window and backed my car up over his ass a few times with impatient frustration by the time he got this far in the directional assistance.
“The caterpillar sheds his skin to find a butterfly within.
Caterpillar sheds his skin to find a butterfly within.”
Did he just stutter or something? Thanks, David Suzuki. I got it the first time.
“First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain.”
Again with this “mountain” bullshit!
“Oh Wanita, oh Wanita, oh Wanita, I call your name.
Oh, the snow will be a blinding sight to see as it lies on yonder hillside.”
WANITA?! He’s singing to somebody named WANITA? Is this his love interest or is he just trying to summon his housekeeper or something? One thing I can say for sure is that anyone named Wanita sure isn’t going to be seeing blinding snow on her side the mountain anytime soon! Maybe torrential downpour or oppressive heat; but snow, NEVER!
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