Thursday, July 01, 2004

Angels on Vacation?

I have a little theological inquiry that I would like to open up for further debate. Where exactly do you think angels go when need a vacation? What exactly would appeal to your average overworked and underappreciated mystical deity when they feel the sudden urge to take a break from their regular blue-collar grind working as the Holy Honcho's for the Big Guy?

I suppose that this is assuming of course that your average Heaven's angel is a true hard working entity, slaving away for all eternity, as the official Ambassador of Heaven, and as the Guardian and Protector of the human spirit. With all the praying for peace, brotherly love, and pet pony's at Christmas time, it can't be easy keeping up with the demands placed upon them Nor can it be any less exhausting making all those Virgin Mary statues weep bloody tears during Sunday mass, or creating all those faces in the likeness of Jesus on all those roadside billboards and corn chips. I don't suppose it's easy work giving the occasional stigmata's to innocent orphan's in the remote mountain ranges of Peru.

To make matters worse, the conditions that they ALREADY work in at Paradise wouldn't be any less stressful as those mortal officeplaces here on Earth. I think it must really suck royally since they'd never really be able to play hooky from work when they are employed by an all-knowing omnipotent boss, and particularly since their workplace would be completely void of any illnesses from which to call in sick from! There is no doubt in my mind that they need to take a little breather every now and again. So where exactly do you think someone like St. Peter would go when they ultimately need to get away from it all for a spell?

Do they book rooms at the 7th Level of Dante's Inferno for the hot tropical weather and sunbath by the pool in their chic heavenly banana-hammocks, sipping on their Mai-Tai's and lathering on the UBV Factor sunblock? Maybe they organize wild Paintball Wars in among the various planets and moons of our solar system, or take sightseeing cruises down the River Styx and ogle the indigenous wildlife of condemned souls roaming the river banks. Or maybe they just close up the Heavenly Gates altogether for business and get all sloppy drunk and throw the Virgin Mother of all's not like they are going to suffer hangovers the next morning in PARADISE, am I right?


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