Thursday, May 27, 2004

Queer Eye for the Terrorist Guy

Hey, since homosexuals have thrus far been successful in combating the large numbers of trendless mismatched rubes like ourselves, and have raised the bar for acceptable fashion...lets ship some off to the Middle East to see what they can do to fix these mounting terrorist problems.

Imagine five flamboyantly gay men doing a complete fashion makeover of a militant Islamic fundamentalist freedom fighter of the evil Al-Quida regime. "Replace that boring and passe black hood for a brightly colored plaid turban or head scarf instead, something that says: 'I'm a terrorist, I spit on Democracy...and I look FABULOUS!"

They'd be able to pick you out the perfect pair of faded acid-washed jeans to accessorize with that concealed plastic dagger, or trade in all those tired old pair of customized shoes on your next flight for a more trendy over-the-shoulder carry-all with which to carry your explosive devices. Even when you are caught in a comprising photo shoot with alligator clips attached to your gonads, at least you wouldn’t look – horror of all horrors – unfashionable!

Imagine the fancy-yet-easy suggestions they could make to spice up those bland prison meal portions of bread and water...or new hip interior decorating ideas to spruce up your prison cell or cosy sniper spiderholes!


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